Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses the concept of “The offering of the wicked is an abomination” (Proverbs 21:27). Although this verse comes from Mishlei, it appears to express an idea that is more than just rabbinic—it seems to be de’oraysa, a Torah principle. This is evident in its application to explain why the designated sacrifices of a person from an ir hanidachas, a condemned idolatrous city, must be destroyed and cannot be accepted on the altar.

At first glance, we might conclude that although God welcomes repentance, He has no interest in the sacrifices of a non-repentant sinner. Theologically, this seems reasonable—why should God accept an offering from someone who is otherwise rebelling against Him?

Yet, something about this conclusion feels unsettling. While we might say God is well within His “rights” to reject such a sacrifice, it seems, in some way, ungracious. The renowned marriage researcher John Gottman identified the acceptance of repair attempts as a critical stabilizer in marriages. Repair attempts are broader than apologies; they encompass any effort toward positive connection. In his studies, he found that the downfall of many relationships was not due to a lack of attempts to reconnect, but rather the refusal of one spouse to accept the other's repair attempt.

For example, after a terrible fight in which hurtful words were exchanged, one spouse might make a small bid for reconciliation—a smile, a joke, or an offer to help with something. The other spouse, still nursing wounds and unresolved resentment, might feel an overwhelming urge to reject or ignore the gesture out of spite. While the hurt is understandable, Gottman found that successful marriages had mechanisms for accepting repair attempts, whereas deteriorating marriages did not.

This brings us back to our question: If the acceptance of repair attempts is so crucial in human relationships, why does God refuse to accept a sacrifice from a sinner who has not yet repented?

However, upon deeper examination, this principle is neither absolute nor sweeping. While God does not accept an Olah sacrifice from an unrepentant sinner (Zevachim 7b), there are other sacrifices that He does accept, and the distinctions are worth exploring. The Rambam (Hilchos Shegagos 3:7) codifies it as follows:

• The sacrifice of an unrepentant, habitual idolator or one who desecrates Shabbos publicly is not accepted.
  
• A habitual, unrepentant sinner of a particular sort may not bring a chattas sacrifice for a shogeg (unintentional) violation of that specific sin. For example, if a person habitually eats chelev (forbidden animal fat), he cannot bring a chattas if, on one occasion, he mistakenly thought it was shuman (permitted fat). Since he would have eaten it regardless, his act does not qualify as the kind of unintentional sin for which a chattas atones.
  
• However, he is still permitted—and even obligated—to bring a chattas for other sins.
  

We see, then, that not all sacrifices are rejected, nor are they rejected from all people. The idolator and the public violator of Shabbos are disqualified because they fundamentally reject God (chilul Shabbos b’farhesya is considered a denial of Ma’aseh Bereishis—the belief in Creation). Their sacrifice is not rejected out of mean-spiritedness but due to an intrinsic contradiction: How can one bring a gift to an entity they deny?

Similarly, the habitual sinner’s chattas is rejected for that particular sin because he cannot genuinely claim it was unintentional. Yet, for other transgressions—ones he generally avoids—he is still eligible to bring a chattas.

A beautiful expression of this idea can be found in the laws of Birchas Kohanim. Even a Kohein who is a habitual, unrepentant sinner is still obligated to recite the priestly blessings (Shulchan Aruch, OC 128:39), except in cases of idolatry or murder, where a specific scriptural disqualification applies. The Rambam (Hilchos Nesias Kapayim 15:6–7) poignantly comments:

He should not be prevented from [reciting the priestly blessings] because [doing so] is a positive mitzvah incumbent on each priest who is fit to recite them. We do not tell a wicked person: “Increase your wickedness by failing to perform mitzvos.” …Do not wonder, “What good will come from the blessing of this simple person?” for the reception of the blessings is not dependent on the priests, but on the Holy One, blessed be He, as [Numbers 6:27] states: “And they shall set My name upon the children of Israel, and I shall bless them.” The priests perform the mitzvah with which they were commanded, and God, in His mercies, will bless Israel as He desires.

This paints a picture of a God who does accept repair attempts. Only an offering that is ludicrously insincere or paradoxical is rejected.

However, one matter remains unresolved: Why does God reject the Olah sacrifice of a habitual sinner (Zevachim 7b)? To answer this, let us turn to Rashi’s precise wording, which anticipates this concern:

The Olah sacrifice … serves as a form of appeasement gift—like a person who has wronged the king and is seeking a rapprochement through advocates. When he comes to appear before the king, he brings a gift.

Rashi emphasizes that the Olah sacrifice is not merely a voluntary offering but a final stage in a process. A rapprochement gift is meaningful only after an apology or act of repentance; otherwise, it is empty ritual.

Returning to the relationship metaphor, people often bring gifts as "make-up presents," but such gestures are usually better received after an apology, rather than as a substitute for one. Notably, Zevachim (ibid.) makes no mention of a Shelamim sacrifice being rejected (see Shiurei Rav Aharon Lichtenstein, Zevachim 6a). This suggests that God does accept repair attempts and bids for connection even when explicit apologies are absent—so long as they are not insincere apologies or misused rituals.

Translations Courtesy of Sefaria, except when, sometimes, I disagree with the translation

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Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, LCSW-R, DHL is a psychotherapist who works with high conflict couples and families. He can be reached via email at simchafeuerman@gmail.com