Daf Yomi, Marriage Counseling, Psychotherapy, Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, Torah and Psychology
Our Gemara on Amud Beis refers to a halachic requirement that the writing in tefilin, Sifrei Torah, and Mezuzos be kesiva tamah—a “complete” writing. Different Rishonim and poskim describe what constitutes complete writing, but in our Gemara this means letters with no gaps, and may also include the requirement to write well-formed letters and letters that are surrounded on all sides by blank parchment, as opposed to a letter on the edge of the sheet. (See Keses Hasofer 7:1, and Mishna Berura 36:4, 14, 82.)
Kedushas Levi (Kedushos L’Purim, Kedusha Sheniya 5) elaborates on the spiritual meaning of kesiva tamah. The form of writing used in our sifrei Torah, ksav ashuris, has a different quality than every other form of writing. It is a complete writing because it represents the idea or thing itself instead of a phonetic symbol that corresponds with a sound and forms a word. The words and letters in ksav ashuris are not representations but rather the actual idea. By way of metaphor, one could read a genetic code on paper and, if we understand genetics, construct what kind of animal or cell it represents. Or we could see the actual DNA in a living organism. Other languages are a copy of the genetic code; ksav ashuris is the genes themselves in real time.
In a similar way, he says each nation of the world has a quality of character that is unique and meant to serve God. However, they receive their strength and guidance through an intermediary angel, while the Jewish people are united in a direct way with God.
Then Kedushas Levi says something that is interesting and might be true in psychological dimensions as well. He says that if a Jewish person wants to be regarded favorably by non-Jews, the Jewish person who can also exhibit that same spiritual quality will automatically cause the guardian angel of that particular nation to relate with affinity. I believe he is saying that the Jewish people can manifest any of the qualities of the other nations because they are the source itself and not a representation.
In any case, psychologically he is saying that if there is a quality that a Jewish person manifests that is part of the essence of a particular nationality, it creates this affinity.
I wonder why this doesn’t create jealousy for appropriation of their quality. For example, after the Enlightenment, when the Jews were allowed into the universities, they took them by storm, arousing antisemitism. In American history as well, a number of universities resented how many Jewish immigrants excelled academically and responded by making quotas limiting admissions of Jews. This fear and jealousy is as old as Pharaoh and the Egyptians’ paranoid mistrust and loathing of the Jewish people as they also overtook their host society (Shemos 1:9–12).
Perhaps the distinction is a matter of degree. If the Jewish person humbly serves God and in the process taps into a quality of expression or thought that belongs to a particular nation, it will bring benefit. However, if he takes over and dominates, which is a result of selfishness, the natural result is jealousy.
This kind of thinking is not the modern way. In a democratic society, why should anyone or any group have to restrain themselves and hold back in order to avoid jealousy? This seems fair and appropriate, but human nature does not care about what a philosopher or psychologist says. The Torah, on the other hand, while its aims are to elevate and moderate human behavior, often it makes compromises with human nature instead of utterly suppressing it. The Torah accepts the weakness and temptations of soldiers toward captives during war and seeks to limit the damage (Kiddushin 21b), as well as the need for occasional celebrations and partying (see Chinuch 488). The Torah is pragmatic about human nature, and its ethics reflect that. No one can disagree with the idea that no matter how promiscuously a woman dresses, it is the man’s responsibility to manage his impulses. Yet Sifri (Devarim 242 and Rashi Devarim 22:23) are critical of a rape victim who behaved immodestly. That sounds terrible to modern ears, and yet the point is pragmatic and protective, not to absolve the perpetrator. So if we read in old texts that Jews should try to keep a low profile so as not to arouse antisemitism, while it sounds and feels wrong to modern sensibilities, it may not be a bad idea at all.
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Translations Courtesy of Sefaria, except when, sometimes, I disagree with the translation
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Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, LCSW-R, LMFT, DHL is a psychotherapist who works with high conflict couples and families. He can be reached via email at simchafeuerman@gmail.com