Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

August 13th, 2020

Dear Therapist: One of my teenagers is busy with "streaks." It seems that that is the only way he feels he shteigs. He will be very occupied, lemoshol, that he hasn't missed davening in “x” amount of days. Then when he misses he will completely fall apart and miss minyan for days at a time. It seems to be all or nothing for him. It is unclear to me exactly how much, but this mehalech does seem t …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

August 13th, 2020

Dear Therapist: We had been having some difficulties with our 7 year old son through the beginning of the school year. He had just been very angry and chutpahdik. In general he seems to have trouble expressing what is bothering him and seems to act out instead. Over the 3 months in which he was not going to school there was a noticeable change in his behavior for the better. My husband and I looked at each other one day and it hit us how well he …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

August 13th, 2020

Dear Therapist: I have a younger sister (age 24) who I care about very much. She had a rough childhood as far as being picked on in school and since she is a nonconformist got in a lot of trouble. Her relationship with my parents has also been very up and down with a lot of negativity and hurt feelings. She has a small part-time job that she gets no satisfaction from. To me she is clearly depressed and she admits as much. She is very smart and no …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

August 13th, 2020

Dear Therapist: I’m wondering if therapy can help a person who is in a difficult situation that can’t be changed. I understand if someone is depressed with life therapy can help them feel better but if someone is dealing with a reality that is bad is there a point of going to therapy? I understand the question is broad but I would prefer not to go into my own personal details. Either way there are many such examples, financial, famili …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

August 13th, 2020

Dear Therapist: A friend of mine who recently sat shiva made a comment to me about how some people were so helpful and supportive and others not so much. As professionals I was wondering if you could give your suggestions on how to properly be menachem avel and be supportive of those who have suffered a loss?   Response: Every person mourns differently. According to the Kübler-Ross model, there are official …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

August 13th, 2020

Dear Therapist: A year ago, my 20-year-old daughter told me she wants to speak to psychologist because she’s feeling anxiety. She insisted on speaking only to the top and most expensive ones. My husband is in chinuch and we don’t have an extra dollar but I don’t let money get in the way of necessities and over the past year and a half shelled out over 10 grand. My daughter never had any trauma and she doesn’t dis …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

August 13th, 2020

Dear Therapist: I am a 15-year-old bochur in what many consider a choshuve mesivta. I consider myself a nice person. Perhaps I am a bit shy. I am often the subject of “sharfe” lines by the bochurim in yeshiva. There is a mehalech in the yeshiva of everyone trying to show how sharf and quick and smart they are, and for whatever reason I am the punching bag. Maybe cuz I’m an out of town …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

October 23rd, 2020

Dear Therapist: As the school year hopefully begins, I am somewhat concerned about my elementary school children who have not been on a regular structure/schedule since Purim. I wonder if there is any advice you can give us on how to manage the transition back to normalcy? Or maybe it's nothing and the kids will bounce right back into it? Also, are there any signs we should look out for that would indicate an issue?   Response: I&r …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

October 23rd, 2020

Dear Therapist: I am considering hiring a therapist for work purposes. I bh don't feel the need for therapy in my personal life but someone suggested seeing a therapist to help me/coach me in my management position. Basically, even if I am doing well can this help me perform even better? Perhaps it would be a good idea for our bottom line if we hired someone for the company to motivate employees and help manage workplace issues. What ca …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

October 23rd, 2020

Dear Therapist: My son has struggled with a kind of constant but not so severe depression for a while. He has a lot of trouble moving forward, being productive, and is often just down. He is at the age where he should be starting shidduchim and many of his friends are dating. He has been working with a therapist and had been getting better but recently is not doing as well. His therapist has suggested that he see a psychiatrist to possi …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

October 23rd, 2020

Dear Therapist: I find the letters and responses to the Couch very informative. Would it be possible for the panelists to share advice on how to detect narcissistic behaviors? I had an awful experience with a narcissistic individual and tried so hard to make it work. However, if I would have been aware of the classic signs of narcissists, I would have realized early on that it would not work. Narcissists are very charismatic people that are  …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

October 23rd, 2020

Dear Therapist: As a 3rd grade rebbe sometimes I have children in my class who have lost a parent r’l. I wonder if in such cases I should avoid using the word totty or mommy during class to avoid hurting the child. Is this something that is helpful or perhaps avoiding it is just something that is not realistic and unfortunately it is something they will live with all their lives?    Response: Your sensitivity to oth …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

October 23rd, 2020

Dear Therapist: I am writing to ask for some clarification as to the extent that stress or other psychological issues can cause physical problems. Basically, I have not been feeling well for a while, mostly with very bad headaches. I have been to a doctor and a specialist who both are saying that there is nothing they can see that is wrong and it must be that I am stressed out. They suggested I go to counseling which I am looking into. I guess my …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

October 23rd, 2020

Dear Therapist: My husband has been taking COVID very seriously. Although he is young and has no health conditions, he basically isolated completely for the first few months of the pandemic. He spends a lot of time online "researching" the illness and spends a lot of time discussing and analyzing it. At the end of the summer, when we had gone so long without seeing any serious illness, he started relaxing a little and going out (with a mask). He …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

October 23rd, 2020

Dear Therapist: I have a question which I hope you can help me with:   I'm looking for a new therapist, one that is in-network and takes my insurance. I'm doing a ton of research, calling up therapists, clinics etc...but I keep bumping into the money issue. I just hung up with yet another therapist that didn't work out, and I'm honestly feeling helpless, hopeless and demoralized. Is this how the system is g …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

March 1st, 2021

Dear Therapist: I have heard that COVID-19 illness can have effects on mental health. Based on your knowledge and experience is there any truth to this? If yes, how can someone prevent and/or deal with this appropriately?    Response: Your question is a bit unclear. I don’t know whether you are referring to possible physical side effects that can medically adversely affect the brain, or if you are referring to the psychological ef …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

March 1st, 2021

Dear Therapist: Is an eating disorder something that primarily is an issue for women/girls? I am concerned about my teenage son’s eating habits. I try and get him to eat more but he doesn't want to. When is there a cause for concern and how can I get him to eat more?   Response: Treatment centers and resources for eating disorders do seem to cater more to women than to men. This may be due to various factors. Traditionally, social cult …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

March 1st, 2021

Dear Therapist: I’m on medication (citolophram) for minor depression, so minor that I “lived” for 20 years with it always wanting to go for help, but never being desperate. My parents put me on meds with the guidance of a qualified top psychiatrist although I was going into shidduchim. It wasn’t even a discussion; medication was the best option for me along with regular therapy and that’s what we did. I could have st …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

March 1st, 2021

Dear Therapist: I would like to know the panel’s opinions regarding video games. I have heard that it is possible to become addicted to video games and I am not sure how this could be possible considering there is nothing the person is taking into their body like nicotine or alcohol. I understand that there are more productive ways that I can be spending my time but it seems that there is a tendency now to turn everything into an addiction. …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

March 1st, 2021

Dear Therapist: I have never been the most ambitious guy but I have a decent job and make a living. What I find recently is that it is really hard for me to stay motivated. I’ll do ok for a few days and then (usually mid-week) I hit a wall and just can’t seem to push myself to get anything done. Initially I thought it would pass but it’s becoming a pattern that repeats itself. My life is actually pretty full so it’s not li …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

March 1st, 2021

Dear Therapist: The unfortunate reality is that marijuana use is becoming increasingly less taboo in society. This has been driven home by the recent vote in NJ to legalize its use. Until recently it never would have crossed my mind as something I need to worry about with my children. However, with its increased prevalence in society, I am starting to wonder if this is something I need to discuss with my kids? Do you think this is something I sho …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

March 1st, 2021

Dear Therapist: I live in a home that is not a healthy happy environment. I feel my parents have trouble providing for me emotionally. They are not abusive in any way, but I never received any validation, affection, healthy communication etc. growing up. I recently hit this stage where I woke up from a “bubble” and started realizing and processing how difficult the situation really is and how much I am lacking in my life as a result. …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

March 1st, 2021

Dear Therapist: My daughter, who is a young adult and therefore has the autonomy to make her own decisions regarding medication, opted to take medication for depression.  This in spite of the fact that as her mother I know her better than a doctor who spent 10-12 minutes interviewing her and over 40 minutes interviewing me at the initial appointment (after having been told the opposite is what would happen).  Said doctor diagnosed my da …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

March 1st, 2021

Dear Therapist: I'm looking for some direction about something that I've been thinking about for a while. Maybe you can help. Often, I struggle with thoughts and feelings that make it hard for me to get through my day and I think I have felt like this since I was a teen. Feeling this way has affected my relationships at work, with my kids and my siblings. My current state has even put pressure on my relationship with my husband. It&rsqu …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

March 1st, 2021

Dear Therapist: My husband and I are struggling with our 23-year-old son. There is a certain amount of instability to him where he is constantly changing his mind. For example, one day he is all into learning and is talking about staying in learning for a long time after he gets married and a few weeks later he is talking about leaving yeshiva now and going to work. When it comes to shidduchim he changes significant pieces of what he is …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

March 1st, 2021

Dear Therapist: My son’s yeshiva has been putting some pressure on me and my wife to send him for therapy. The primary reason for this seems to be because he has been getting in trouble at school. Not serious trouble but being disruptive in class. My son has a great personality and is a leader, so I am sure that this is partly why the focus is on him. The yeshiva is insistent that he should be seen by a therapist because they assume that th …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

March 1st, 2021

Dear Therapist: As there has been an increase in mental health awareness in the community I am noticing that people can be somewhat quick to point out what they believe are mental health issues in others. I see this particularly when it comes to personality disorders, more specifically Borderline Personality and Narcissistic Personality. I see these terms get thrown about and I am hoping you can clarify for the readership. Are personality disorde …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

March 1st, 2021

Dear Therapist: A well-known educator recently spoke out strongly against "labeling" a child. Even if a child has a mental health issue and is receiving services, we must make sure he/she is not labeled. The remark struck a chord with me as 2 of my children are currently in therapy one for behavioral issues and one for anxiety. While the idea of not labeling a child sounds nice in theory, I am not sure how to put it in practice. At the end of the …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

March 1st, 2021

Dear Therapist: Our 26-year-old daughter recently went through a time where she was down. We didn’t think much of it and she appeared to get better but then showed some troubling behaviors. On the advice of our rov, we brought her to a psychiatrist. We are also still on a waiting list to see a therapist. The psychiatrist believes that she has bipolar disorder and is giving her medication for that. Our question is, does it make a difference …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

March 1st, 2021

Dear Therapist: I am aware of someone who is emotionally unhealthy and demonstrates real negative verbal abuse such as constantly putting others down/bad name calling, explosive reactions, and ignoring and not caring about others’ needs.  This person is completely incapable of raising children and constantly lashing out at them and destroying them to pieces. 
I am very concerned for these children and the negative effects th …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

March 1st, 2021

Dear Therapist: I am looking for advice on how to deal with bullying in school on the elementary school level. I have found a lot of conflicting opinions on it. There are those that emphasize standing up to the bully, others ignoring the bully, and those that say neither works. A lot of warnings about how having the child who is being bullied change his/her behavior is "blaming the victim" and that how can you really expect a young kid to stick u …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

March 24th, 2021

Dear Therapist: I would like to know the panel’s opinions regarding video games. I have heard that it is possible to become addicted to video games and I am not sure how this could be possible considering there is nothing the person is taking into their body like nicotine or alcohol. I understand that there are more productive ways that I can be spending my time but it seems that there is a tendency now to turn everything into an addiction. …
0 comments

Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

March 24th, 2021

Dear Therapist: I'm looking for some direction about something that I've been thinking about for a while. Maybe you can help. Often, I struggle with thoughts and feelings that make it hard for me to get through my day and I think I have felt like this since I was a teen. Feeling this way has affected my relationships at work, with my kids and my siblings. My current state has even put pressure on my relationship with my husband. It&rsqu …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

March 24th, 2021

Dear Therapist: My sister has a difficult time with her 2 of her children. They are socially awkward, struggle in school and seem to me to be very anxious. Whenever they go through something difficult, she seems to quickly find a "medical" related reason why whatever is happening is happening. One time it's strep, one time PANDAS, or Lyme disease or whatever else. She runs around from doctor to doctor getting all sorts of treatments for them.&nbs …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

March 24th, 2021

Dear Therapist: Overall, my husband and I—married for ten years with five wonderful children—have beautiful shalom bayis,. We have a loving relationship and bring harmony and happiness into our home on a day-to-day basis. The problem is when we have something to work through. When I do something or say something that upsets my husband he totally shuts down and becomes handicapped at communicating. He is not overall an emotio …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

March 24th, 2021

Dear Therapist: We live in a duplex and are friendly with our neighbors. We do however have different parenting styles. Recently our 9-year-old daughter has become very friendly with the young girl next door. She spends hours on end there and seems to enjoy being there much more than home. I kind of see where she is coming from as there are practically no rules and not much in the way of supervision either. There is no moderation and things that …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

May 19th, 2021

Dear Therapist: My daughter was encouraged by her principal to see a therapist.  She has been misbehaving in school recently, nothing serious really, but the principal suggested it. She has gone through a lot as my wife was niftar 4 years ago, though she says she is fine and doesn't really seem different than the other girls in her class. They are all a tough bunch.  I mean she is a teenage girl so who can really tell what sta …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

May 19th, 2021

Dear Therapist: I recently went out with a boy who disclosed on the 3rd date that he was seeing a therapist for depression. He said he had struggled on an off with depression since he was a teen and had sometimes taken medication for it. It turned out that the shidduch didn’t work out for other reasons, but I was really confused as to how to deal with that information. I liked him and he seemed like a perfectly normal boy, wh …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

May 19th, 2021

Dear Therapist: My 13-year-old daughter is an intense child. She puts a lot of pressure of herself academically and school is a big deal for her. All of her friends are going to (overnight) camp this summer and initially she had us register her as well. She is now insisting that she wants to stay home for the summer and "relax." She says she works hard all year, and she just wants a chance to have nothing to do. It is interesting that it doe …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

May 19th, 2021

Dear Therapist: I recently read an article describing different people who should be seeing a therapist. I have a good friend whom I feel matches the description in the article. The more I think about it the more I honestly think he could benefit from seeing one. The problem is being a 21-year-old and being told by your close friend that you should be seeing a therapist isn't the most pleasant experience. How as a friend am I able to convey over …
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